20082008

so long never blog le...so much things happened during this time. First, i left my temp job at marvell and went back to school. was really touched during the farewell lunch that my colleagues threw for me. They even celebrated my bdae with me. I was really surprised and happy. Soon after that, on my 1st day of school which was also my bdae, i had a dinner with my secondary sch classmates. Happy that they remembered my bdae and willing to spent time to celebrate with me. Feel so blessed. The last surprise was that melinda and xinyi who couldn't made it to the dinner asked to meet me at hougang mall to celebrate for me.haha...touched by lovely friends. xinyi made an album for me which showed all the pics that we took thru out the years. It was a very sweet thing that she had done for me and i will certainly treasure that book. haha...i believed that this bdae is a bdae that i blew the most no of times of candles. i hope that i will grow old with all those wonderful memories and wish that all my beloved friends will be happy always.

061608

Been some time since i blog. or could say i am simply too lazy to blog. i enjoy letting my views be heard and yet i dunno how to express my views well. such an ironic thing. People are such strange things that can never be fully understood. Yet people still tries to unravel the mystry even though they knew it would get them get tangled up more. i feel that even though answers might not be found in the end, the process of seeking the truth often allows one to see oneself more clearly than ever.
Yesterday, on my way to my friend's 21st bdae party, I can observe people's behaviour on the train. My best friend was angry of the fact that people did not give up their seats despite seeing an old and fragile old lady in front of them. She wanted to confront these people and asked them to give up their seats. But i stopped her. I was thinking that there are probably two outcomes if she does confront them. One was probably that the people get embarassed and give up their seats or the other option was that they will scold my friend for being a busybody. People are born to naturally fight for the best interest of oneself. They are often unwilling to be placed at the disadvantage. As a customer, they probably felt that since they paid the same fare as or even more than the old lady, they deserved the equal opportunity or right to get a seat. Besides, it was a first come first serve basis. All the more, they had the right to keep the seat to themselves. We all understand this fact and yet, we somehow feel uneasy or even guilt-concious to let this old lady continue to trying her best to keep her stability in the jerky ride. the guilt feeling is probably comes from the values that the society believes in which is that we shoud respect the old and care for them. this value often trigger off this guilt feeling if people disregard it. My friend was angry at the fact that even kids who were present did not give up their seatseven though they went to school and be taught the values. I was thinking it was probably no one did that so they might felt weird about giving up their seats. Humans often follow and afraid to take the first step with the mindset of fear of failure. Perhaps we should overcome this fear and take the first step. Who knows, this first step might be the door that opens to a road that is clear and brightly lit.

Monday blues

another day at work. been occupied and no time to update this blog. a lot of things happen these few days. I managed to get a office job(finally) and now embarking on this new journey. Things are always difficult in the beginnning. i think i must not expect too much in the beginning. i guess it's just my character, get worried too easily. the workplace is nice. lots of unfamilar faces. i guess all these need time to get used to. the work environment is pretty similiar to singtel. just that, my manager is just sitting in the next cubicle. Colleagues are nice people and i managed to secure a lunch kaki. at least i dun have to lunch alone. got back my results and i am happy with it. Happy will be too trival a word, i think exhilarated will be the better word to use. I had never obtained such a result before. U would wonder why am i blogging here while i am supposed to be busy working away.*smilez* that is because my account to oracle can't be used and without that, i basically can't do anything. so now waiting for my manager's reply. hope he sees my email *fingers crossed* if not, tmr i also can't do anything. i still dun noe how to use the office phone. it's hilarious right.. pple can call me but i can't call out. haha..anyway i hope no ones call. *pray hardz*phone calls are bad. it means i need to answer queries. and means i need to run ard like that time. *yucks* today got a new colleague join us. he is my new neighbour. he is a facilities director. whoo*dun play play* haha. saw him lunching alone. poor thing. makes me think of myself on 1st day of work. nothing to do now. sianz.

worried=(

another day has passed and no news is heard about my job. worried that i can't find a temp job. *pray hard that i can get the job* if i can't, i would have to stay on to work at u.r.s which i wished i dun have to. this sales job is getting more sianz..sigh..dun like my working environment. the job seemed to stagnant and there seems to be nothing more for me to learn. sigh..gg for tuition later..

watch accuracy of death today

went job hunting again with xinyi. went another recruit express branch at tampines. haha. after the interview, went to catch a japananese movie. the movie was really good. enjoy it...been a really long time since i last catch a movie with a friend. after that, i and xinyi went to the new terminal 3 at the airport. it's really big. just wish someday i will have a chance to take a plane and go take look at the outside world. many of the pple probably see getting on a plane or even gg overseas as something quite common. but i haven got a chance to do so. the only overseas trip i have gone to was a one day tour at malacca when i was primary six. when i earn my first salary, i must bring my mum overseas. let her enjoy herself. hope this wish will come true quickly. vanessa from recruit express called to inform me of a job vacancy. hope i get the job. dun want to stay on this sales job. it's really sian. xinyi told me about our character very similiar and a good friend of hers told her that her character is very soft. i guess that friend is just afraid that she will get bullied for not knowing how to say no. i think we both believed that if we treat pple the way we wanted to be treated, we will be treated the same way. it might not necesarily be true but i just feel that one shouldn't be so calculative at times if not the life will become very difficult. i must admit i too is a person who dun noe how to say no. when i say no, i guess i am just afraid of hurting pple's feelings. i probably dun want to feel that guilt and i will rather get hurt than let pple get hurt. hmm....maybe i am just too soft.

holiday starts

yeah..it's holi again. a need to look for new temp job. can't really stay on to work at the same sales job. it's really getting very boring and routine. hope to be able to get an office job. *pray very hardz* met a lost time no see classmate on my way home today. he has changed. not in terms of his physical appearance but the feeling he gave me. haha..perhaps it's been quite a while since i talked to him. *wondered if he feels the same way abt me* i wonder if i too change in anyway. talking to him makes me feel that he now got a goal in mind and is determined to achieve it. what abt me? do i have a goal? i noe i want to graduate as soon as possible but an internal conlict is aroused. should i carry on to study more. i wish to carry on but my grades don't permit me to do so as well as my family conditions. sigh..where should i go after grad? suddenly my future seems a little bleak. i need a guiding light to show me my lifepath.

yeah no school today

spent the whole day rotting at home.. scratching my head to see if i can come up with ideas for my term paper. so much to do. so little time. such an irony that i can't seem to find anyone to interview for my term paper. sigh...argh...must get it over and done with. hate the feeling of having to do something.